Your Pretty For a Dark Girl

Nature of the Threat

2008-03-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

If you want to learn the truth, not the lies they told us in school watch this. This will give you a whole nother look on Black people.

Are They The Enemy?

2008-03-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

Being in love with my skin color is something I've struggled with for a long time. From when I was younger and I wished I was white, then to getting older and buying bleaching creams in hopes of getting lighter. I know alot of other girls in my position have dealt with the same issues...but, the question I ask is are we really proud of our skin or are we just resentful of the light skin folks?
I get so angry sometimes when guys praise girls for being lighter or if I see an ex with a lightskinned chick it makes me even more angry. But would I feel better if the girl was dark skinned? I'm still not sure are we really dark and proud or are we dark and bitter?

A Woman's Worth

2007-11-19T23:41:00.000-08:00

Just something inspirational to start the week off...

He Just Don't Know

2007-11-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been really feeling a guy but he doesn't even know you exist...yeah I know how you feel.

Before They Go Crazy

2007-11-15T23:15:00.000-08:00

All men before lets say the age where their stupid older friends or relatives get ahold of them and tell them that treating a women right is silly....don't you remember when guys still felt like this?

Like a Boy

2007-11-14T11:22:00.000-08:00

This video speaks to me and I know to alot of other black woman as well. When I think about all the things guys have done to me...I just wish I could switch up the roles.

Case of the Ex

2007-11-13T08:10:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about my ex latley and this song has been helping me alot. I hope you like it.

Body Image

2007-11-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

"The body is meant to be seen...not all covered up."

Lately, my mom has been getting on me because my chest is more exposed now than before...but hey,I'm a black darkskinned woman with curves. Why should I hide myself? If there is something about yourself that you feel is your best asset then show it off...God didn't give it to you for nothing.

Love Thing

2007-11-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be with them....love is not a bandage to cover wounds"

Black women,if he ain't workin then leave it...no point in stressing....plain and simple.

What Every Dark Girl Should Have

2007-11-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

1. Cocoa Butter
2. Gold jewlry...hey its just looks good on us!
3. Clear lip glass
4. India Arie CD
5. Nikki Turner's Book "The Glamorous Life"
6. Carols Daughter's Browning Oil
7. Deep burgandy lipstick (you know,like the type Toni on Girlfriends used to wear?
8.Manicured nails
9. whitening toothpaste

Are we really Black?

2007-11-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

Take a look at this definition and see if you really would like to refer to yourself as a Black person.

1 a: of the color black b (1): very dark in color (2): having a very deep or low register (3): 2 a: having dark skin, hair, and eyes : b (1)often capitalized : of or relating to any of various population groups having dark pigmentation of the skin (2): of or relating to the African-American people or their culture (3): typical or representative of the most readily perceived characteristics of black culture 3: dressed in black4: a: characterized by the absence of light b: reflecting or transmitting little or no light c: served without milk or cream 6 a: thoroughly sinister or evil : b: indicative of condemnation or discredit 7: connected with or invoking the supernatural and especially the devil 8 a: very sad, gloomy, or calamitous b: marked by the occurrence of disaster 9: characterized by hostility or angry discontent : : subject to boycott by trade-union members as employing or favoring nonunion workers or as operating under conditions considered unfair by the trade union11 aof propaganda : conducted so as to appear to originate within an enemy country and designed to weaken enemy morale b: characterized by or connected with the use of black propaganda 12: characterized by grim, distorted, or grotesque satire 13: of or relating to covert intelligence operations

Dark Girls Who Represent Us Well in the Media

2007-11-06T00:46:00.000-08:00

Gabrielle Union
Oprah
Angela Basset
Kelly Rowland
India Arie

Damn....there's not that many!

Top Things Dark Girls Shouldn't Wear

2007-11-05T11:44:00.000-08:00

1. Bright red lipstick
2. Blonde weave
3. Any eye shadow that looks great on white women and just okay on light skinned women.
4. Neon clothing

True To The Game

2007-11-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Hey, I just finished reading one of the books off of my Black Girl Book List. True to the Game 2 is a great second installment to the book series. It was not a disapointment like I thought...thank goodness. I definately recommend this one.

It's Okay to Ask For Help

2007-11-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

I would like everyone to check out these self help books mainly for African American women. I think that it has been a stigma that these are only books that white women read...but I have looked at them and they are actually pretty helpful.

Fabulosity by Kimora Lee Simmons

Beautylicious: The Black Girls Guide To The Fabulous Life.

Man Check List

2007-10-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

1. Be attractive

2. NOT broke

3. Has REALISTIC goals and REALISTIC plans on executing them

4. NO major felony convictions

5. Good Hygiene

6. Not a momma's boy

7. Isn't already in a relationship

8. Is educated

9. Can hold a meaningful conversation

10. Has an old school mentality...

.......basically a good man....is he out there?....the world may never know.

Black Girl Book List

2007-10-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

1. Coldest Winter Ever

2. Flyy Girl

3. A Hustler's Wife

4. The Glamorous Life

5. True To Game

6. True To The Game: Two

7. Dutch

8. Dutch 2: Angels Revenge

9. Cheaters

10. Got A Man

11. Ex Girl To the Next Girl

12. Milk In My Coffee

13. Sisters of APF

14. For The Love of Money

15. Boss Lady

16. Be More Careful

I Don't Need a Man....Do I?

2007-10-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Since the day me and my estranged boyfriend broke up months ago, I have been in constant search of a new one. You know...a replacement. Every guy has to stand up to a certain criteria that I have made up in my sick and twisted love seeking mind and then end up surprised that that don't measure up. Or better yet...when I meet a guy instead of him appeasing me and my needs I bend myself into a pretzal trying to be what he needs.

But why is it that I seem to be killing myself trying to find a man? Why can't I just be conent with being by myself? And futher more, why is it assumed that because I don't have a man there has to be something wrong with me? I really think that if society would just get off our back and force hurrying up and get married and pregnant then I could just enjoy being single and breathe easy.

Poetry Part II

2007-10-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

The Cold Within

Six humans trapped by happenstance

in black and bitter cold

Each possessed a stick of wood,

Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,

the first woman held hers back

For on the faces around the fire

She noticed one was black.
The next man looking 'cross the way

Saw one not of his church

And couldn't bring himself to give

The fire his stick of birch.
The third one sat in tattered clothes

He gave his coat a hitch,

Why should his log be put to use

To warm the idle rich?
The rich man just sat back and thought

Of the wealth he had in store,

And how to keep what he had earned

>From the lazy, shiftless poor.
The black man's face bespoke revenge

As the fire passed from his sight,

For all he saw in his stick of wood

Was a chance to spite the white.
And the last man of this forlorn group

Did naught except for gain,

Giving only to those who gave

Was how he played the game.
The logs held tight in death's stilled hands

Was proof of human sin,

They didn't die from the cold without,

They died from the cold within.

Word of Inspiration

2007-10-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

It Couldn’t Be Done
Edgar Guest

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,

But, he with a chuckle replied

That "maybe it couldn’t,"

but he would be one

Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face.

If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you’ll never do that;

At least no one has done it";

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,

And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure;

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle it in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start to sing as you tackle the thing

That "couldn’t be done," and you’ll do it.

from Collected Verse of Edgar GuestNY:Buccaneer Books, 1976, pg. 285

Poetry

2007-10-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

Blasphemy--American StyleLook,

God, We've got a nigger here To burn;
A goddam nigger, And we're goin' to plunge His cringin' soul To Hell!
Now watch him Squirm and wriggle While we swing him From this tree!
And listen, God, You'll laugh at this I know--
He wants to pray Before we stage This show!
He's scared And can't remember What to say--
Imagine, God, A nigger tryin' To pray!
Lean over, God, And listen while we tell This fool
The words He couldn't even Spell!
"Our Father Who art in Heaven," (Say it again!)
"Thy will be done On earth . . ." (Laugh, God!) "Amen!"
To Hell with him! Come on, men, Swing him high!
A prayin' rigger, Golly-- Watch him die!
Written by Esther Popel (1896-1958)
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Can I Know?

2007-10-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Me and my homie were dicussing men and their many lies. If I'm going to be the other woman, can you let me know? Can I have a choice so I can make that decision on my own? Why is it that when a man cheats on his significant other he has to lie to the girl he's cheating with? If I'm going to be that girl I would rather you hip me to the game so there is no surprises whatsoever. I'm really starting to think that the black male population is underestimating us as females when it comes to emotional attachment.

Its Just Music

2007-10-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

"Its just music" is the excuse rappers give on a daily basis when asked why do they degrade black women. In today's society instead of dancing to "I'm black and I'm proud" or "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" we are now getting down to phrases such as "it must be your a** cuz it ain't your face" or better yet " money over bit**es".

Black Female Depression

2007-10-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

In the black community depression is something not taken seriously, mainly because it is largely believed to be something that only white people deal with. But in all actuality everybody can suffer from severe depression. Its funny how black people always assume you can just snap out of depression, like its not a real disease. It is one and should be treated as such. Its not just something you can just snap out of, its a long tedious process of getting down to the real problem. Its important to know this because alot of black women suffer from depression but are either not taken seriously or afraid to say something at all. Just raising consciousness.

Far From Home

2007-10-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

Why do we look down on Africans so much like they are somehow different from us? We are the same people the only difference is that our blood has been watered down while theirs has remained pure. Why do we look down on so called "nappy" hair when that is the hair we are born with? That is the hair our ancestors have past down to us and yet we are so quick to separate ourselves from them. Not wanting to be too dark, not wanting nappy hair...in other words a desire to look white.

I sometimes feel robbed of a heritage. I feel as though our history began when our ancestors reached these shores and anything before that is dismissed. I'm sick of being taught to believe that the white man saved us. That we were barbarians and heathens until they rescued us from darkness and put us into bondage. When the truth is that we had our own religions, beliefs, traditions and customs that were ripped from us. Now we are forced to believe what they believe and it's not "American" to act in any other way. We are so quick to hold on to anything trying to define who we are as a people but in all actuality what defines us will never be found anywhere but back home.

Afro-Centered Education

2007-10-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

When I have children, I hope to send them to an Afro-Centered Education school. It's not because I'm racist I just decided I want my kids to learn African and African American history everday not just during February. And besides studies prove that black children who go to these types of schools learn easier and score higher on standardized test.

I'm really a segregationist in theory segregation produced W.E.B Dubois, MLK, Malcom X....etc. I just think that America's school system isn't set up to for children of color, so why not send our kids to a school where they are learning about their culture and they are not feeling like outsiders....What do you think?

Are We Messing Up The Dream?

2007-10-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream but I really don't think he had this in mind. During the civil rights movement Black people were striving for equality, the right to vote, the chance to be treated better than third class citizens. But I'm not so sure if they would have continued getting beat by police, bitten by dogs, and anything else they had to endure if they had known then that the future generations they were fight for would be more concerned with the latest shoe or dance craze instead going to class.Todays generation have left voting for government officials and traded it in for voting who should win on an award show. We've left our school books behind and traded them in for The Source, Cosmo and Vibe Magazine. Instead of referring to eachother as brother and sister, we've resorted to using nigga and bitch as a term of endearment. I think that Martin Luther King Jr and Malcolm X would hang their heads in shame to see how their efforts have manifested. They fought to get us equal education, and now we don't attend class. They fought so we could have better employment and now we don't feel we have to work...we can just collect welfare and we'll be good. Instead of women being looked at as the first teachers of our children and an important member in the institution of faimly, we have now been reduced to bitches and hoes dancing in front of a camera with nothing on but two band-aids and a cork dancing to a song telling its listeners that we're good for nothing more than sex. Black men are now in the publics opinion what's wrong with America and instead of them trying to brake that image for some reason they embrace it becoming more ghetto and trashy with each passing year. Now having been to jail or being known as a "hustler" is worn like a badge of honor. Yep I don't know how it happened but the dream has somehow turned into a nightmare.

Real Black Love

2007-10-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

India Arie's video "the truth"

I Am Not My Hair!

2007-10-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

Brown Skin

2007-10-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

India Arie's Video "Brown Skin"

How Soon Is Too Soon? (part 3)

2007-10-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

In my faimly it is normal to marry young. If you're not married by 25 then you must have something wrong with you. But is it really necessary to be locked down by the age of 24? And even if you do want to make that choice, how do you get your boyfriend to be on the same page? Exactly how long should you wait to propose a life long relationship without him breaking up with you? In all actuality, you either love someone or you don't. You either want to spend the rest of your life with someone or you don't. I really don't believe you need 5 or 6 years to figure it out. More than likely if you don't want to committed within the first 2 weeks then you won't change your mind in 2 years. So why is it that men feel the need to take it so slow. Better yet, I don't see why we allow them to do it to us. In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" it basically says that if a man really wants to be with you then he won't care if he's broke, homeless or in the middle of having his house burnt to the ground he's going to make that choice. No matter how long you have been together. Then there's the famous taxi cab theory which is men are like taxi's. They drive around all day with there lights off not wanting a fare. Then when they finally think there ready they turn their lights on. The lucky women who catches that man with his light on gets to marry him. Unlike women who have had their lights on since birth. So what is it, should we let them no the moment we feel like they are the one...or should we wait until they make that decision for us....I guess time will tell.

How Soon Is Too Soon? (part 2)

2007-10-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

Picture this...you've been talking to a guy for a couple of weeks now and you've pretty much realized that that is the person you would like to spend some time with...relationship wise that is. The only thing is, he hasn't brought it up yet. How soon is too soon to bring up the idea of a monogamist relationship?

Every woman has dealt with this dilemma. You don't want to do it too soon and scare him off but you don't want to wait forever to the point he thinks that you are just cool kicking it as is or worse, you're knocked down to booty call status.

No matter what we say, as women we want stability and securtity so we eventually want a casual "friend" to become our "man" eventually the only problem is, because men don't really like to talk about their feelings, we really don't know when that transtion will take place, if it will even take place at all.

All I can really say is that you'll know when the time is...the trick is to stop being in denial. Alot of times we tend to make excuses for why he doesn't want to committ, but if we are honest with ourselves, then you'll know when it will be the right time to propose that step of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

How Soon Is Too Soon? (part 1)

2007-10-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

When looking back on past relationships, I've noticed that alot of them have followed the same pattern. I meet a guy, we like eachother, we decide to hang out....then he tries to get me to sleep with him! Now back in high school, sleeping with someone right off was a big no no. But now that I'm an adult, how soon is too soon to sleep with someone without it having a negative impact?
Many a time guys have told me,"who gonna know" or "it don't matter, you know you not a hoe" but is that the reality or are they just telling you what you want hear to get their desired results. Being a single 21 year old female, black female at that...I find myself walking the fine line of sexual liberation and being a bonafide hoe. I mean, is there a set amount of time that one should wait before sleeping with someone or does time limit have no effect?
Someone once told me to keep a man...you have to wait 3 months to have sex with him...but in all actuality I've told guys that and they have not been happy campers so I really don't think her theory was all that accurate.But what I have concluded is that depending on the guys idea of what he wants is usually a good scale of how soon to do it. If the guy plans on being there for a minute then he won't mind waiting...but if he just wants to hit it and quit it...then you have two options. You can either A: Get some and just enjoy it while it lasts....or B: Leave him alone, why give him something he's not willing to work for?.....YOU decide.

Response To Last Post

2007-10-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

My Sincere ApologyForgive me because I am not that thug brother
I mean I could only be that good brother
You know that compassionate lover
To show that I loved ya
Forgive me for not hitting you only hugging ya
For kissing you and not shoving ya
For holding you and not punching ya
Forgive me for treating you as if you had class
And for not treating you like trash
Or throwing you through that glass
Oh, did I mention for not putting my foot in your ass…
I thought you were on that other shit when you said that I was too nice
But I guess it is us good men who always have to pay price
I'm sorry my mouth is not full of platinum and gold
My feelings for you are not heartless and cold
I have a bald fade instead of cornrows
And I'm truly sorry that the bracelet I bought you
Is not worth more than the ring you ex-boyfriend stole
I apologize that I mostly wear ties and suits
Instead of du-rags and boots
I'm sorry that I try to keep the lights on
Instead of worrying about how much ice I got on
I apologize that I can't bleed the block
And run from cops
I mean I would, by my time is consumed by this 9 to 5 job I got
I apologize I don't disown my kids and keep up with drama
And I'm terribly sorry I don't have four or five baby mamas
I'm truly sorry that I don't spend most of my time with my patnas playing sports
And I wear 3-piece suits even though I don't go to court
I'm sorry my name is not caught up in the he said, she said, you heard it
And that I don't have guilty of criminal charges verdicts
I'm trying to figure out what I've done for you not to like me
Please forgive the fact that I'm not "all in the club spitting game in my white tee"
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me
So please accept my sarcastic, I mean sincere apology
Written by Torrian Tucker

Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys?

2007-10-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

There are two types of females in the world. Girls who like thugs and girls who lie to themselves and say that they don't. Often we as black women are looked down upon because alot of the time we tend to go after the dude who is a little rough around the edges. You know the type, the ones that are tatted up, maybe have a grill, baggy jeans and an I don't give a damn attitude. Who can resist?
I'll be the first to say that I like thugs. I would prefer to date a thug then someone who is wack. Not to say I'm looking for someone right out the state pen but I do want someone who add a little excitment to my life. I find it funny the ones who are complaing about black men wanting a thug are guys who aren't one.
It isn't any slight against you all its just thats what alot of women prefer to any extent. Dumb women tend to want thugs with eight kids, no job and no future. Smart women wants a thug with goals and plans for his life.....and at the most just two kids. Its just nature, we want a provider and a protector...not someone who is afraid to go outside because his momma never let him play off the porch when he was little....So don't be mad. So, guys before you ask us why we want a thug...first ask yourself why you prefer hoe's over good women...don't worry..I'll wait.

Friends with Benefits

2007-10-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

"I was cool with not commitment, wait let me take it back it was you so I was with it."Beyonce
Why are so many women getting caught up in the friends with benefits dream? Okay so you meet a guy and he seems nice enough...but then he tells you that he likes you but he just doesn't want a girlfriend right now. You think thats fine, maybe he'll come around but until then you just kick it. Somehow just kicking it turns into occasional outings and sex with no strings attached. Or so you think.
Women often...okay always equate sex with emotion so how do we often end up in these relationships with men who want the milk for free but refuse to buy the cow. I admitt I've fallen prey to the same thing."He's my man, but we're not dating" often referred to as "we talk". But is the promise of oneday having a relationship just a way of men being able to get what they want out of us without really having to have the strings attached to go with it. Further more, why do we keep falling for it?
Friends with benefits are fine,but only if it is okay with both parties. Which for the most part one of the couple most often the female wants more than just sex. So is it really worth it? Who knows....thats up to you to decide...I just put it out there.

"Those are the best kind but it sucks when feelings get involved." For more info go to
http://richwhite7.blogspot.com/

My Boyfriends a Baby's Daddy

2007-10-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

In a recent conversation I was having, a young gentleman was telling me that he would never talk to a girl who had a kid because her responsibilities would lie elsewhere. He's not the only person who has these feeling...everytime I start talking to someone who has a child my friends or faimly members frown up there face at me. "Why you always gotta find someone with a kid" is what I contintly hear from these people.
In this day in age a guy with just one kid is a catch. Back in the day if you met a guy with a kid you wouldn't even let him get past the door...now if a dude says he has a child you be like "Oh for real? What's they name?" Its not a big deal like it use to be. I find it funny that girls still stray away from men with kids. Its not like you're going to have to play step mom or deal with the baby mama drama you see on t.v. A majority of the time you really don't even deal with the kid on the count that it's with it's mother a majority of the time.
I've had a couple relationships with men with kids and all but one turned out not that bad. As far as the baby mama's they kept their distance from me and I them. I never saw the kid and the only time I really had to hear about them was when they were talking about money.
So to all the black females out there, you say you can't find a good black man but maybe its because you're writing off the ones with kids. Just because they have an extra responsibility doesn't mean they aren't worth trying out...hey just be happy they ain't YOUR baby's daddy.

Crab Mentality

2007-10-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

Lately since I've made the decision to go natural and to educate myself on the Black community, I've been called everything from Sistah Souljah to W.E.B Dubois. Just because I've made decision in my life to become more "afro-centric" in a way, people say I've lost my mind. Why does me embracing my culture deem me as crazy?
In a society where we have been stripped of our "true" heritage and simply going from trend to trend trying to define ourselves as a culture we should be happy for the ones who feel they know the true nature of themselves.
Why does my new life changes have to be met with remarks like "you'll never change" or "you say that now".

Calling It LIke We See IT

2007-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

So today I was called a Hater for just being real about my feelings on certain matters. Am I a hater because I don't like it when guys say that light skinned girls are prettier? Am I a hater because I think its ignorant for someone to say that someone has "good" or "bad" hair?
It has been said numerous times that dark skinned girls are bitter and angry because we can't be light skinned. But that is the total opposite for a majority of darker girls. I like being dark...I think it makes me prettier. I like my hair because it's the hair my ancestors passed down to me...I didn't get it out of a box.
I think that a majority of the people who say we're hating are just mad themselves. Their mad because when we speak our minds we are often speaking the truth and the truth is like a big mirror and we all know that alot of the time people don't like to the person in the reflection.

Gossip Folks

2007-09-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some black women feel the need to put others down? Why when a girl walks by can't a female say "Thats a cute top" and leave it at that? Why does it always have to be followed with "But not on her"? Is it safe to say that that is the reason black women can't come together and do something positive? I truley think that if they were to have a million women march, by the middle of the event there will have been numerous fights breaking out because of the women talking about eachother. What ever happened to being your sisters keeper or did that die out with black pride. We as a people in my opinion will never be able to progress until we stop putting one another down. You don't see white women with the same drama...the biggest problem they have is which one of them is going to be the sober sister. Not "I don't like her cause she think she cute." How the hell do you know what I'm thinking! Would you prefer me to have low self esteem and walk around with my held hung low? Just because you aren't secure within your skin doesn't mean you have to try to bring me down with you. Maybe thats the reason black men date white women...they figure since black women don't like black women....why should they? think about it.

Are we being left out?

2007-09-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

I now work at a place where they sell lotions, facial products and make up. According to the employee handbook, I have to wear make up to work but...it has to be thier brand. The thing is, I am a dark skinned female and none of the colors match mine. Its not just at my job its at makeup counters everywhere. A majority of cometic lines only have makeup dark enough to look good on a light skinned girl...but what about the dark skinned girls?

Lady or a Tramp?

2007-09-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

We've heard this debate over and over again...why can men be sexually involved with numerous women and be considered a stud...while a women who sleeps with more than three people is cosidered a whore?
With times changing and writers like Zane who preach sexual liberation for black women why is it so taboo to for a lack of a better phrase "get around"?

Am I Too Old to Crank It?

2007-09-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

Okay so lately I've been dating men younger than myself and I have been catching alot of hell for it...it baffles people that I could be interested in someone younger.But hey, I'm only 21...its not like I'm 48 trying to date 15 year old guys. Why is it that Demi Moore can date Ashton Kutcher and the white community doesn't think twice about it in fact they embrace it...but the moment I say I like Soulja Boy my friends act as if I just told them wanted to have sexual relations with my bird. For some reason I have this infatuation with him...so what...I'm a fan...its not like I plan on hunting him down or anything...I know I'm too old for that. But whats wrong with thinking he's cute without people thinking I'm some kind of pervert? Why is it sooo taboo for black women to date younger men...or better yet lust after someone younger than she?
Sometimes it's the only option we have...men tend to dip into their stupidity around age 25 so sometimes its crucial for black women to snatch young men up before he becomes attracted to white women, decides his buddies are more important than treating a women right...or my personal favorite..their mothers mess them up even more than they already have....
Young guys are fun and often soooooo much better looking...so why is it wrong to indulge every once in a while? I don't have a problem with it...so indulge I will.

" A Girl Like Me"

2007-09-19T11:13:00.001-07:00

For More Info on this subject look at these videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nROCdfnF95Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VLB4z5d93k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFFjpprx7JQ

Is Ph.D the new STD?

2007-09-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

So young women especially in the black community are brought up to believe that when looking for a husband you must find someone who can financially support you and your offspring. Black males are brought of to believe that you must be the bread winner in your faimly or else you aren't a man. But in this day in age when women have a greater thirst for knowledge and success why are men shying away from them?
When I tell a guy that I plan on pursuing my doctorate they look at me in disgust as if I just told them I've contracted 6 or 7 different STD's? Why is the idea of me being smart and successful such a turn off for men now...do they feel if i make more money or am more successful I'll strip them from their role as provider?
I mean if I was a guy and the girl I liked told me that she wanted to get her doctorate and have a successful career doing something instead of girating in front of a camera I would hold onto her....cause hey that means she's going somewhere and I won't be lugging around dead weight.... but I guess guy don't think like that.

O.J Faces Modern Day Lynch Mob

2007-09-17T17:30:00.000-07:00

So everyone remembers back in the day when O.J Simpson was charged with the murder of his wife and Ronald Goldman...well his is now back in jail faced some more trumped up charges. Get this, a man stole his stuff so he posed as a buy to steal it back. Now two armed men were with O.J but he did not have a gun. If that is the case how come the armed men are released on bail and O.J is still in custody? The man without a gun is the one charged with the gun charges...plural! So let me get this straight...the man who chopped up his neighbor was let off but O.J who was simply taking his stuff back is facing hard time? In my opinion, his downfall was marrying that white woman...he should have known that it would be all down hill from then on. White America is still so mad that this big brood of a black man took one of their women, allegedly killed her and then got let off the hook...what could he expect but for them to keeping tabs on him waiting for him to slip up....I guess if the glove doesn't fit you must aquitt...atleast until he gets stealing his own stuff back....

Why do we keep losing so many to the struggle?

2007-09-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

For the life of me I can't understand why we are losing so many accomplished Black men to white women...I was on myspace today and I saw one of the best examples of the Black male species that I was cool with this past summer...what shocked me wasn't the fact that he was in a relationship cause he's a cool guy but the fact that he was now dating a white girl. That makes me soooooo mad...all the accomplished, attractive and goal oriented Black women out there and you're trying to tell me he couldn't find not one?

I was at a club in Champaign, Illinois (where black men and white girls are an epidemic) and me and my friends who were of all shapes , sizes and different shades of brown were on the dance floor...this Black guy comes out of nowhere...passes the 6 of us up and heads right to the white girl who was dancing all off beat and starting hollering at her.

What really iggs me is that fact that these men aren't going after these women for love they like white girls because in their eyes white women are like trophies. So far I've heard:

1. I just want to have a white girl before I die

2. White girls do what you tell them and black girls talk to much

3. White girls are nicer, black girls always have an attitude

4. White girls look better and treat you better

5. White girls have money

and the list goes on....

They've taken our style, invaded our HBCU's, adopted our vernacular and now there taking our men! Can't we keep anything for ourselves?

So I leave you with this...if you have a black man keep him close ....

"Cuz when he get on, he'll leave your ass for a white girl" kanye west

http://ready4blackpresident.blogspot.com/

Pretty Little Black Girl

2007-09-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Letting my creative juices flow....

You're pretty for a dark girl

but you're ugly after that

you're lucky you have "good" hair

or you would really be set back

they say the darker the berry

the sweeter the juice

the truth is the ligther the skin

the better you'll do

why am i like this

it just isn't fair

my mommy and my sister are light skinned with long hair

what can i door what should be done

i won't do black things

and i'll stay out of the sun.

I won't play with black kids

cause i'm nothing like them

the only thing we have in common

is the color of our skin

but maybe if i talk white

and watch what i say

and take a thousand baths

to wash the blackness away

then maybe they won't notice

and maybe they won't see

that my gums and my knees are as black as can be

oh how nice it would be to wake up from this dark dream

and realize i was light.

and for once in my life my skin color would be right.

my nose would be thinner and my eyes could be blue

and for the first time i could hear"what a pretty little black girl are you."

Dark Skin is In

2007-09-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

Anthony Hamilton, Common, Kanye West. These are some of the very few men who are constantly having attractive dark women in there music videos. You will never know how refreshing it is to turn on the television and finally see women who look like you...When you watch music videos a majority of the women in them are of lighter complexions, have long hair and are skinny as sticks....its nice to know that there are men out there that still prefer "real" women.

Idiocracy

2007-09-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Someone told me today that dark-skinned guys are back in style...when will someone say that about dark-skinned girls? You never hear that we're coming back in style whatever that means... I believe its sad that in this day and age we use skin color as a trend to go in and out of style....then he proceeded to tell me that he preferred girls with light skin and "good" hair....he's an idiot. If there's one thing I hate, its a black man treating white women and lighter skinned females as trophies and acting as if having someone dark-skinned as out of the question...

http://textme10.blogspot.com/

Colorism...

2007-09-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't they be surprised when one day I woke out of my black ugly dream, and my real hair, which was long and blond, would take the place of the kinky mass Momma wouldn't let me straighten? My light-blue eyes would hypnotize them ...- I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou।On TV and in magazines, you seldom see a dark-skinned black person. Our culture is still being led to believe that having lighter skin somehow makes you a better person. Black people with lighter skin get treated better; I believe this discrepancy stems from the days of slavery. In general, dark-skinned blacks labored in the fields while light-skinned blacks worked indoors. Slave owners and even slaves gave lighter-skinned blacks more respect. This segregation of shades within the same race is a serious problem.Colorism has always been an issue for the black community. In the past, some black social clubs and societies only allowed those who had light skin. "People say that in the early days at Spelman College (an historically black women' s college) young women were not admitted if they were darker than a paper bag," said one graduate.Today, colorism is reinforced by black children having white G.I. Joes and Barbie dolls with blond hair and blue eyes. It is also strengthened by the absence of dark-skinned black people on TV and in magazines. What happened to "Black is Beautiful"? The black race is made up of many shades, so how can anyone say one is better than another? Our society has taught us not to accept differences. One senior I know said, "My grandfather accepts me, while he treats my sister as if she doesn't exist because she is darker." I asked a number of my classmates what a beautiful black woman looks like, and most of them gave the obvious answers: Halle Berry and Vanessa Williams. But one response surprised me. When I asked one classmate, she said she thought there was not just one. She named Lauryn Hill, Jada Pinkett Smith and Erykah Badu, who are all very different, but each has something that makes her beautiful. She also mentioned her deceased friend, Monique: "Monique was beautiful because she was smart, always kept herself together and did not let her looks get to her."I also asked my classmates how they felt about seeing primarily light-skinned black women in music videos. They all gave the same answer: "It is messed up, but what can I do?" Most were angry about how dark-skinned black women are portrayed in music videos: "When they do show dark-skinned girls, they are greased up with a These images of dark- and light-skinned black women affect people differently. However, it is clear that the absence of beautiful dark-skinned women and the flood of images of light-skinned women increases self-hatred and division. The self-hatred comes in many forms; when I was in middle school, a black girl told me she only wanted to marry a white man so her children would have light skin and white features. A junior admits her parents don't approve of her boyfriend because of his color. "My boyfriend and I are both Dominican, but he is darker than me. My mother thinks that since he's darker, if we got married and had children, they'd have bad hair."This division exists in our communities, schools and even families. It's ridiculous that we as black people do the very thing to each other that was done to us. Instead of dividing, we need to unite to address more important issues in the black community, like homelessness, drugs, violence, HIV/AIDS and poverty. We need to build stronger communities and help instead of judge each other. We all deal with some sort of racism daily - whether it's racial profiling or an old lady clutching her bag tighter in an elevator. We shouldn't discriminate against each other. More attention needs to be paid to a person's character rather than the shade of his or her skin.The only way for change is making your voice heard. You are the consumer who buys albums and purchases magazines. If you don't like what you see, speak out, write letters, send emails. Make your voice heard.
http://teenink.com/Past/2001/June/Pride/Colorism.html

How Colorism Colors Our Daily Lives

2007-09-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

by Kim
As young women of color, we might not have ever heard the word “colorism” before, but I would bet a million dollars that all of us have, at some point in our lives, observed or even experienced it. For example, we practice colorism when we refer to straight, long hair as “good”, and kinky hair as “nappy.” We refer to it when we call people “red bone” or “tar baby”. We reinforce it when we talk about “putting milk in your coffee”; that is, when an individual with a dark skin tone seeks a lighter skinned partner in the hopes that the children will also have a light complexion.
Colorism can be defined as the practice of placing value on skin tones, with a preference for lighter skin. This behavior pervades the mentality of many cultural societies to such a large degree that many of us have become desensitized to it, and even have come to accept it as part of our own way of thinking. African American writer Maya Angelou comments on this issue in her book “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”. The narrator says: "Wouldn't they be surprised when one day I woke out of my black ugly dream, and my real hair, which was long and blond, would take the place of the kinky mass Momma wouldn't let me straighten? My light-blue eyes would hypnotize them”Why is it that our society has this disturbing “color stuck” obsession? One factor comes from the enslavement of Africans, who were subsequently shipped out of Africa into the US and the Caribbean. Sexual relations between white masters and black slaves resulted in mixed children who bore more Caucasian features than other slaves, like a lighter skin tone and straighter hair and noses. These individuals were favored over darker slaves because they could “pass” for white, and were thus given more opportunities for education and to climb the social ladder. Thus the message black men and women learned was that European features were more desirable and were synonymous with social status and beauty. We still share this message today.
However, colorism is more an issue within a racial or ethnic group, rather across racial groups. With colorism, people discriminate against their own people, by valuing lighter skin over dark skin. Look at any catalog, magazine or television commercial featuring an African American woman, and usually she will have a light skin tone, and straight hair, or that “nice” curly hair that is unlike the kinky texture most African Americans have. Watch those BET and MTV music videos. They feature such a high percentage of light-skinned video dancers that it’s almost a shock to see a woman with mocha or chocolate colored skin tones. Look at the Latino soap operas, where most of the star actors and actresses have European features and do not really represent the diverse range of features that the Latino population possesses. In many Asian cultures, people who have lighter skin are thought to be of a higher class, because they do not have to work in the sun, which would give them darker skin.
This practice of colorism has affected our mentality so much-to the point where in our societies, young girls cannot wait till they’re old enough to relax their hair chemically (to make it straighter). To the point where some individuals have “light skin” as part of their criteria for choosing a mate. To the point where skin bleaching creams have become a standard item in the cosmetic bags of many women.
Colorism। If you’ve never thought about it before as a problem, now is a good time to analyze how hurtful it can be to young women of color. It creates serious divisions among us, and can create a negative self-perception for those who aren’t born with the “right” skin tone and features. We all need to recognize colorism for what it is- a superficial, divisive, and destructive mindset. And if we can break that mentality within ourselves and refuse to reinforce it in our societies, then we can break the cycle of passing this practice on to future generations…and maybe one day soon colorism itself will be a legacy of the past.
http://www.mysistahs.org/features/colorism.htm

Color My Skin

2007-09-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

by Omega
The color of my skin has always been an issue for me. As a young child, I can remember not wanting to go outside because I did not want to tan. I used to pray, in childish naivety, that God would not allow me to get darker. As I got older, my skin did darken and, as usual, when I go outside, my skin does tan. I now think back and consider why I was so set against becoming darker. My parents never told me that being light was good, but that was the message that I clearly heard from the media and casual remarks by people in my life. All of the “beautiful” black people on television had light skin and long, curly hair—that I often heard referred to as “good” hair. I wanted so badly to fit this image of beauty and I was dissatisfied with myself because I could not.
As I entered high school, I became more conscious of how my thinking about color came from the slave master’s work to make black people ashamed of being themselves. I enrolled in an African American Studies course where, for the first time in an academic setting, I learned why I should be proud of being black. For me, being black is not about skin color or hair texture, because these elements vary so greatly among black people. Being black is about knowing our history and how atrocities from the past carry forward to the present. What’s more, I learned that awareness should cause some type of action. So, I cut out all of my language that implied that there is only one type of black beauty, and I began to speak out when others around me said things like, “She’s pretty to be dark skinned,” or “Look at her ‘good’ hair.”
I know that colorism is not an issue only in the black community। Around the world, there seems to be a strong divide between light and dark people in terms of perceived beauty. It’s time that people of all ethnic groups that carry this baggage take responsibility. Stand up and say that beauty is not limited by colors or by colorism.
http://www.mysistahs.org/features/myskin.htm

It's Harder When You're Darker

2007-09-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

By: Tasha M. Martinez
Turn on the TV and flip to your favorite music video station. In 85% of today’s R&B, Hip Hop, and Rap videos, why is it that the love interests or the dancers all look the same? Light-skinned, long hair. Ethnic beauties, really? Unless you are watching the video of a beautiful dark-skinned artist, it is a rarity that you will catch a glance of someone beyond brown. Like so many other little girls, when I was growing up, it was so nice to have someone to relate to - who was like me. For me, it was Keisha Knight-Pulliam. I loved her. As a woman, I honestly do see it as somewhat of a slap in the face that dark-skinned women are never made out to be the beautiful ones, the lusted after ones in the movies and videos. We are not inferior to any other women of lighter pigmentation.
I think of Spike Lee's School Daze. Will there every be a sequel where the dark-skinned women are the sought after ones? The idolized? That movie touched upon the idea of racism within the race, which is still very much an issue between blacks, especially in entertainment today. I can see why so many little dark-skinned girls feel left out and uncelebrated. Because in entertainment, we are not the celebrated women. At a self-esteem developmental age, young girls start wishing they were something they are not, instead of loving who they are for what they are. Regardless of what anyone says, beauty IS only skin deep, and I know this. Beauty is not just one thing. God made us all beautiful and we are beautiful because we are different. Tell each side of the story. Show each shade of beauty.
The other day, I was watching VH1's Driven on Beyonce'. Ok, it's a known fact. She is a beautiful, talented, young black woman. Something her younger sister Solange said in the documentary caught my attention. She basically said that Beyonce' has always been "hated on." She then added that you take a lot of slack for being a black girl with light skin and long hair. I feel it is the contrary. That may indeed be the case for little seven-year-old girls playing together and not liking each other. But I feel that dark-skinned black woman take slack for NOT being light-skinned with long hair. It's not the other way around. Why would you take slack? You are what the entertainment industry sees as a beautiful black woman. Hearing Tupac say, "The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice," I'm sure made a lot of women feel good. But B2K wants to go on trips "with chicks that look like Alicia Keys." This is what my three little sisters hear and see today in 2003. Now don't get me wrong, I come from a family who instilled great self-confidence in me, and I have a mother who always taught me to love and respect myself because I am beautiful inside and out. She taught me to be proud of who I am, so I know that it starts at home for everyone. No one likes feeling left out though, especially when in most cases, those doing the berry picking are pots calling the kettle black.
Basically, I feel it stinks the way dark-skinned women are portrayed, or are not portrayedÂ…more like betrayed. Is it that people have forgotten where they came from? Who they came from? If I started seeing chocolate beauties in music video's now I'd think something was wrong because it is so out of the ordinary. I just feel like every form of media plays a major role in shaping our children's lives. Imagine for just one moment that your pre-teen daughter comes to you feeling down because everyone on TV and in magazines that is classified as beautiful is the total opposite of her.
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